The Blizzard of Entitlement vs. What I Actually Deserve

I woke up this morning to about a foot of snow outside and it was still coming down in huge snowflakes. With the wind blowing it looked more like a blizzard, at least to my Texan eyes! I was on my way to meet someone on campus so I had no choice but to brave the weather and start walking fast. Since I am still new to this huge campus it took me a while to figure out what road I needed to take to get to this ladies house. My GPS said it would only take 15 minutes of walking, but I didn’t factor in the snow OR the fact that campus looks a whole lot different in the snow. Since the wind was blowing hard it was mandatory to walk with your face down to keep the snow out of your eyes. Now you can image, it is relatively easy to get lost when you aren’t looking directly where you are going AND everything is covered in white. Let’s just say I kept begging the Lord to show me which way to go. I made it to the lady’s house about 20 minutes late and had ice stuck in my hair, hat, and coat. We chatted for a few minutes, she gave me the item I came to pick up and I took a deep breath as I walked back outside in to the biggest “Blizzard” I have ever been in.

Reflecting back, I was so upset with myself that I couldn’t find my own way to her house, I was late, and now I was soaking wet. All I wanted to do was just to go home and crawl in bed. One word was brought to mind. Entitlement. It is a disease that kills us from the inside out. It is nasty! I didn’t think I was entitled to much until I remember walking through the snow asking God if he was going to help me or not. Then I began to contemplate other things that I expected God to give me for being obedient to Him. Many times we as people get caught up with what we expect from God and we get angry when it doesn’t go out way. David Marvin from The Porch Dallas put it this way, “it happens when someone is getting involved in serving and falling hard after Jesus then they hit a wall where they become bitter towards God that they are not to where they want to be in their relationship status. They feel entitled to find Mr. Right, or have good health.” We set expectations on social expectations not biblical expectations.

In reality, I deserve hell and eternal separation from God. But not only did God not give me what I deserved, but He gave me His best! I get to live with Him in paradise for an eternity. I don’t know about you but I couldn’t help but weep when I realized what life would be like without Jesus in it. He has been my friend, my companion when I feel like I don’t have any, my peace and comfort when I’m scared, my healer when I’m sick, my GPS when I don’t know where to go. I literally could not breathe without Him.

The words from this song have become the cry of my heart. (low quality video, high quality lyrics) 

Honestly, God broke my heart for the people around me that go through their day just trying to survive until the next day. They have no hope that things will turn out ok, they have no companionship when all their friends are busy on a Saturday night, they have no one to talk to when they are lost. I can’t even fathom what it is like to live in that darkness, can you?

May the Lord break our hearts for what breaks His. Enough for us to have the compassion to speak life into the people around us. 

Everyone Loves Introductions, Don't You?

I made it! I have officially been in Canada longer than I have ever been at one time! It's been an incredible two-almost-three weeks since arriving and there is so much to tell! Miracles have been happening all around me I can barely keep up with all of them. The Lord continues to bless me in the friendships I reconnected with and countless opportunities to make new ones. I'm still getting settled into my new surroundings, but I still feel like I wake up in a new world every day. Literally! Campus is growing so rapidly, it seems a new building opens everyday! Here is a few picture I snapped around campus and a few cool stories behind them! Enjoy!

The public transit system in Vancouver is amazing. They do a really good job at moving thousands of people where they need to be on a pretty consistent schedule! 

 This is my apartment building as you just enter campus :) It's two blocks from the bus loop, a 3 minute walk to Starbucks, McDonald's, and the Dollar Store! 

This is called "Main Mall" which is the main walkway through the heart of campus. (I'll share a map with you later) 

 At the north end of campus you can see this beautiful mountain range beyond the water. 

 This is one of the oldest buildings on campus! Just look at the old clock tower! 

This building has had a lot of movies filmed in it, including Harry Potter apparently. 

 Magnificent isn't it?  

This is the beautiful Forestry building. This is a popular major at UBC as well and I can't tell you how many students I have met that study Forestry.  

 This is Regent College, which is the "seminary of UBC" and it is practically across the street from my apartment!

 This is on the coast of campus called Wreck Beach. Beautiful even on cloudy days!

 This is a neighborhood on the south side of campus that is growing rapidly! Wesbrook is home to many new apartment buildings, community center, a high school, a tea shop, Blenz coffee, Menchie's frozen yogurt, and Save On Foods. I walk the mile to come grocery shopping for things I need and don't have time to go off campus to shop :) 

 The neighborhood is beautiful!

What do my weeks look like? Good question! I am actually still tweaking my schedule and getting used to a new normal, which will take a little bit longer than I thought. There is a season and a time for everything. 

On Mondays all the Christian clubs on campus welcome people to a group called Alpha. We have a meal together and everyone is assigned to a table. After dinner and fellowship, we watch a film about different topics that lots of people ask when they are seeking Truth. Last week we discussed, "What is prayer and how do we pray?" After watching the thought-provoking video, we discuss at our tables our impressions of the video and share personal experiences. This creates a warm and welcome place for people of all faiths to come and ask their questions about Christianity. I have only been there twice and have been amazed at how open people are with each other! There has been over 15 decisions to follow Jesus already this semester! Any many more who are still curious and ask more questions! Praise the Lord! 

Tuesday (or whatever day is best for all of us to meet during the week), is when we have Origin Staff meetings at the Beanery, my favorite coffee shop! 

Last week I also attended all of the "Life Groups" that are lead by members at Origin that discuss about the sermon from the previous Sunday. It was a great way to meet lots of people and have personal conversations with everyone! 

I did have a couple breakthroughs this week. I haven't gotten lost or missed a bus in a week, I actually run into a few people I know while walking through campus (which is SO EXCITING!), I have shared many meals with many random people this week, I have been welcomed into many homes, apartments, and study halls. Seems like every time I meet someone new they say, "Wait, YOU'RE Brindley?!" Which is a very scary thought... I also forget that this has been a three year process of praying and seeking and talking with people here what the Lord has been showing me. So the secret is out! I am here because God sent me and I am just as excited as my coworkers are! :)

Stay tuned for more stories and cool God moments as I walk through this journey with you! 

12 Reasons Why You Know You Are Not in Texas Anymore…

Did you know you can still experience culture shock even when you move to another first-world county? I didn’t. Did you know that you can still experience jet lag with just a two-hour time difference? I didn’t know that either. Did you know Vancouver is very different than Fort Worth, Texas? I am learning this.

I have experienced many things in the past 6 days spent here in Vancouver. Shockingly, I have even experienced differences in the way of life here I never thought I would experience.

So, here are my “12 Reasons Why You Know You Are Not in Texas Anymore.”

1. When the sun comes out in Vancouver, people think they are going to melt away and start shedding layers of clothing. Yes, they call it Raincouver for a reason!
2. People don’t talk while riding the bus. Even if they are awkwardly standing in your personal space.
3. You can only buy as many groceries as you can carry. Unless you have one of those really handy shopping “carts” that your mom used to take with her to garage sales.
4. It takes 10 minutes to throw away your trash. They recycle EVERYTHING. (Btw, your gum goes in the garbage can not the compost. You’re welcome, I just saved you 4 minutes.)
5. Some of the buses smell like substances-that-you-thought-were-illegal-but-now-they-aren’t.
6. It’s not at all uncommon to hear 4 different languages spoken by those in your immediate surroundings.
7. Everything at the supermarket is either organic, vegan, lactose free, gluten free, cage free, GMO free, etc. just not Free.
8. There are Starbucks and/or coffee shops at EVERY corner, even in the same building! Caffeine FOR DAYS.
9. Racism is not a common word here. Canada has been mentioned to be “a beacon of racial equality” by foreigners. In one day I met a lady from London, a man from Israel, a student from China, a couple from Korea, and a guy from Texas! (Quite a unique perspective than in the South).
10. The concept of personal space only extends to the width of your umbrella. When you are on a crowded bus, start pushing or you won’t get in. Also, this makes eye contact very awkward, just pick a spot on the wall or stare at your shoes during your ride. 
11. You always remove your shoes at the door. Since walking is your primary mode of transportation, you don’t want to bring the street into the house with you!
12. Most people will give you directions using the street names, but it doesn’t help when they are mostly numbers! “If you want to go the grocery store, take the 99 to 41^st, then turn left at 43^rd Ave, right on 45^th, and its on the left.”  See what I mean? Better learn fast!

Yes, most of these I learned the hard way. The most distinct moment of culture shock I had this week was Saturday night. Come to think of it, I experienced almost all 12 of these differences. No wonder I was overwhelmed!

Saturday I was blessed to have lunch and afternoon coffee with a neighbor that lives across the street from me. As we were chatting, I realized I did not have any food to eat for dinner. She happened to have dinner with a friend that night in town, so she offered to show me where the grocery store was on the way out of town.

We hopped on the bus and went a few blocks. She pointed out the street I needed to walk down and gave me directions to the store where the prices were a LOT cheaper. I thanked her, stepped of the bus and walked down the street she pointed out. Five blocks later, I walked all the way around the building I thought the store was in, only to find out it was in the basement with the parking garage. I found the basics I needed and stood in the long line to check out. When I went to pay, my Visa was declined, I left my Canadian bank card at home, AND I had no cash. Thankfully, the cashier suspended my order and said there was an ATM close by.

After I breathed a prayer for help, I had to ask several more people where the ATM was and 10 minutes later I was standing upstairs and across the street to get money out. I walk back across the street, in the rain, downstairs, back to the store, stand in another long line just to pay for my groceries. By this point it is almost 8pm, I’m tired, it’s dark, I don’t know where the bus stop is, I’m starving, and I’m dragging my groceries behind me in my shopping cart.

Talk about overwhelmed! All I wanted to do was to stand there and have a pity party, but that was not going to solve anything! I decided to pull up my “Big Girl Pants” and make some Jesus-lead decisions. First, I needed something to eat so my stomach would quit growling. Thankfully, there was an A&W at the corner (thank you, Lord)! After I finished my burger, I looked up where my bus stop was, and I walked over to where I thought it was. By the grace of God, the bus came after 3 minutes of standing in the rain. 😊

When I walked through the door at my apartment, I have never been so thankfully to see familiar places!

I told this to a couple students who asked how my first week has been and they said, “what a testimony!” I smiled because I knew they were right! God continues to provide what I need to get me back home. 

Purpose, What's Yours?

Do you ever have those days where you feel purposeless? Every day you wake up wondering,"Why am I even here?" Whether you are believer or not, everyone has these days. For some, it last for months and even the sunshine goes unnoticed. For others, it lasts a breath and they snap out of it. It could be a job frustration or a broken relationship that needs a little TLC. It could be the feeling of apathy or like no matter how much you do you, nothing ever gets done or no one appreciates it.

The next time you are having one of those days, or weeks, just stop and breathe. 

Inhale deep. 

Exhale slowly.

Now, thank God, your Creator, for that gift. The breath you just took he gave you. You didn't deserve it, but He had a purpose for it. This song beautifully captures what purpose looks like. Let's see if you can find your purpose in between the lines in this song...

So Will I 

By Hillsong United (Cover by Tori Kelly)

God of creation

There at the start, before the beginning of time

With no point of reference

You spoke to the dark and fleshed out the wonder of light

And as You speak

A hundred billion galaxies are born

In the vapour of Your breath the planets form

If the stars were made to worship, so will I

I can see Your heart in everything You've made

Every burning star, a signal fire of grace

If creation sings Your praises, so will I

God of Your promise

You don't speak in vain, no syllable empty or void

For once You have spoken

All nature and science, follow the sound of Your voice

And as You speak

A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath

Evolving in pursuit of what You said

If it all reveals Your nature, so will I

I can see Your heart in everything You say

Every painted sky, a canvas of Your grace

If creation still obeys You, so will I

So will I, so will I

If the stars were made to worship, so will I

If the mountains bow in reverence, so will I

If the oceans roar Your greatness, so will I

For if everything exists to lift You high, so will I

And if the wind goes where You send it, so will I

If the rocks cry out in silence, so will I

If the sum of all our praises still falls shy

Then we'll sing again a hundred billion times!

God of salvation

You chased down my heart through all of my failure and pride

On a hill You created

The light of the world abandoned in darkness to die

And as You speak

A hundred billion failures disappear

Where You lost Your life so I could find it here

If You left the grave behind You, so will I

I can see Your heart in everything You've done

Every part designed in a work of art called love

If You gladly chose surrender, so will I

I can see in Your heart, eight billion different ways

Every precious one, a child You died to save

If You gave Your life to love them, so will I

Like You would again a hundred billion times

But what measure could amount to Your desire?

You're the One who never leaves the one behind

From the beginning of Genesis to the last chapter in Revelation, God was fulfilling a purpose. He created man and woman to have a relationship with Himself. When they disobeyed, it left a whole that man tried everything to fill. Nothing worked. His creation was not fulfilling it's purpose. 

Instead of destroying the human race all together, He decided to redeem them through one person: His only Son. He was abandoned in the darkness of the world to die and take the punishment that we deserved. Jesus, the one who died on a cross, lost His life so that we could find it here. All of creation points to him! 

No scientist, no politician, no doctor, no teacher, no other religious leader can explain it. God takes the glory.  

"For if everything exists to lift You high so will I." Will you?

Seeking Your Purpose

Have you ever kept a journal? One that you plan to write in every day, but do good to write in it twice a month? Well, my Granny gave me my first journal when I was 12 years old. At the time I had no idea what it was for, so I just doodled in them. She explained to me that it was for penning different memories I didn’t want to forget, things that God has taught me, or life events/drama. (Some of it reads like novellas… those teen years are ridiculous. Can I get an Amen?)

Over the past 12 years (geesh) I have finished countless journals and find it quite entertaining to go back and read them. I found one this morning from last year about my adventures in college (like it was sooo long ago.) I laughed until I started crying when I read what God was teaching me.

Today, I have been praying for God to help me to see Him more clearly. You know some people just have a conversation like Jesus is sitting right there beside them and suddenly, they have clarity about what to do. It seems easy to them, because they have a purpose. Everyone craves to find their purpose in life, but they miss out on the most simple purpose: to know God and to make Him known to others. If you feel like you don’t have a purpose, you need to go back to the basics of why you were created in the first place! We were created in the image of God. The fact that we are BREATHING means we have a PURPOSE. We are made not just to have a relationship with Him, but an intimate relationship.

In my journal, I found this prayer:

            Father, I want to pursue you with everything that I am. I want to learn to trust you with the little details and the big picture. I want to find out WHO you have made me to be. Myself ends here. Today and this week has been all about me and what I want. What do YOU want? My heart says, “Brindley, I just want you. I want your attention. I want your acceptance. I want your passion. I want your love. I wan you to let me pursue you and watch you melt in my arms. I want to show you who you are and what all I have done for you. Because, I love you. I gave my life so I could spend it with you, So you could be on fire for me and learn to trust me for WHO I AM not just what I do. Come to me, dear one.” I am here, Daddy. Please help me to let go and fall into your arms.

What religion ever had a God that wanted such intimacy with us, that He came with such vulnerability to us? What God ever came so tender we could touch Him? So fragile that we could break Him? So vulnerable that his bare, beating heart could be hurt? Only the One who loves you to death. It cost Him everything to be with you. Who will spend a fraction of time just to be with Him?

They say, “Wise men still seek Him.” Do you?

That One Song...

Do you ever have a song or a phrase that gets stuck in your head and you can’t get it out no matter what you do? After a while you give up trying and just belt it out? And then suddenly, something clicks… A phrase or a word sparks something in your mind and it seems relevant to something going on in your life? To be honest, this happens to me quite often. (Especially when I listen to Country music or a sappy love song. I start having flashbacks of past life events that left me feeling the same way. Anyways…)

There is this one phrase in this one song that I haven’t been able to get out of my head for the past 6 months: (Not kidding!)

“I will look back and see that you are faithful, and I’ll look ahead believing you are able.”

I am in a transition stage in life. Life is full of those in-between stages and most of us hate them!

That awkward stage between elementary school and high school (I can see you cringing..), high school senior to a college freshman, a college grad entering into the “adult world”, singleness to dating, (Don’t forget about that horrible “we-go-on-dates-but-we-aren’t-dating” stage), the engagement stage (it’s like marriage without the perks), the first year of marriage (trying to figure out how this is supposed to work), the waiting period in between different jobs, moving houses (or having work done at your house. Eventually you get tired of living in a construction zone and you can’t wait to get back to normal!), and then you get to retirement phase (which is GREAT as first and then you are wondering what to do with the rest of your life.)

And of course, these are not all of them! With life full of awkward stages and transitions, how do you deal with them? Sometimes they are filled with tears of frustration and you just can’t wait to move on to a new “normal” so you can function in society again. Sometimes these stages can be the most fruitful time of your life! Mine has been a little bit of both.

I recently became a college graduate and moved back home for the summer (which turned into fall and then winter too). I am in the process of preparing to move to Vancouver, B.C. to partner with Origin Church at the University of British Colombia. I have met with hundreds of people to share about the incredible things happening there and personally inviting them to partner with me to reach the world with the Gospel.

 The whole world is at this one university seeking an education and a purpose in life, and they all are required to speak one language: English! What better way to reach the world with the Gospel, than to share with these students and send them back to their countries to share with their own people?! (Are you catching the vision and excitement?)

Needless to say, I am stoked to get there and be a part of this. However, things need to happen in order for me to get there. I am in the process of raising all of my own support so that I can live there and work with the church fulltime. It’s tough! It’s tough taking the initiative to meet with as many people as possible to share this vision and pray that God moves in their heart to join. I can’t go without them. I am also anxious to have my own space again, to function, work, cook and decorate how I want. I am ready to just be settled instead of worrying about starting over again.

What has kept me going, even though I get discouraged and discontent is claiming this truth: “I will look back and see that you are faithful, and I’ll look ahead believing you are able.” The Lord gave me this verse the last time I was in Vancouver: Ephesians 3:20 “Now to Him who is able to do more than we can think or image, according to the power at work with us.”

When we look back and remember how faithful the Lord has been to us, we can turn around and believe he will continue to be faithful, even when we are not.

In faith, I will press on because I see how the Lord has provided for me every step of the way and believe that He is able to continue His amazing provision. I am taking each step in faith, since I have no idea what will happened tomorrow. I have trust in the Almighty God and I will be thankful for His faithfulness.

As we prepare our stomachs for Thanksgiving, take some time to prepare your heart by thanking Him for His faithfulness! 

The Changing of Seasons

It’s September 20^th. It’s 93 degrees Fahrenheit. In Texas. I don’t know about you, but I am ready for Fall! Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back, stores have already put out Halloween costumes, and they even are starting to put up Christmas stuff! Retail stores have swimsuits so cheap, they are practically free...

The only thing that Texas hasn’t changed is the weather. I’m tired of summer and begging for cooler temperatures so that I don’t die from heat strokes while cheering at football games. (Unless we can grill burgers on the sidewalk…) By the time you’re done with one season, you’re ready for another one. But what do you do when everything around you screams “fall” except the sweat pouring down your back when you step outside.

Life is full of seasons: a new semester, a new job, a new life with a new person, a new life without someone to share it with. Sometimes it changes when you aren’t ready for it.

I’m in a season of preparation and uncertainty. I was beginning to think “post-grad depression” was a thing! The struggles of life include finding a place to fit in, figure out what you are doing with your life and on a daily basis, and being consistent with it. The Lord has graciously revealed what he wants me to do with the foreseeable future of my life. I have the privilege of partnering with people to fulfill the Great Commission, so what more could I ask for? Well, a specific date to buy a plane ticket for would be nice…

What do you do in these seasons? Trust God. I know, easier said than done. Hold on to the basics of who God created you to be. Look for opportunity to invest in others around you, not what they can do for you.

“Restore to me the joy of my salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.”

Psalms 51:12

I’ve been claiming this verse when I get frustrated with the lack of answers, which often produces apathy. To be honest, I don’t like who I am without Christ. I am apathetic, impatient, frustrated, busy, and jealous. I have low self-worth and low self-esteem. I don’t want to think of others or how I can serve them.

“The joy of the Lord is my strength and an ever-present help in times of trouble” becomes my anthem each day, because it then becomes more about trusting him than trusting the circumstances around me. No, I don’t know what specific day the Lord will allow me to move to Vancouver to start the next season He has mapped out for me. No, I don’t know who I will spend the rest of my life with. No, I don’t know what storms will come in my life. However, I do hold on to the One who is “constant in the trial and the change” and who’s name the waves and wind still know and obey.

What season are you in? Are you in a season of trust or uncertainty? Life is not about having faith in the easy times, it’s about how you react during the challenging times.  

(Now, go, grab a friend and enjoy a Pumpkin Spice Latte while you share about your favorite part of the changes of seasons!)