When I Feel Like I Am Not Enough...

When I was in college, I remember my roommates and I started a "Thankful Wall" where we encouraged our friends to "post" something on our wall every time they came over. (It was a pun time!) It served as a great reminder to count our blessings and know that God is faithful and kind. 
(YES, I wrote Blue Bell... I think it was one of the reasons I survived long nights of studying!)

The wall meant a lot to all of us, eventually we ran out of space! They stayed up for the next 4 months and those who saw it for the first time, stood and stared at through tears. When we finally took it down, I put all of the notes in a bag and kept them. They were too precious to throw away!

Confession time: this year I have been too busy to sit still and be thankful for all that God has done in and through me in 2018. (Is it possible to be passively thankful?) Sometimes it is easy to thankful, other times I feel like it's not enough. Like, I am not enough.

I feel like I never do enough. I am not satisfied with my work.

There are over 2,000 students that live across the street from me and I know they are hiding in their rooms drowning in anxiety and depression. I see their zoned out faces as I walk pass them on my way to lunch. I see the hopelessness in their expression and gloom in their eyes. Even the ones who know Jesus and have been walking with them for a long time are buried beneath their tasks. No matter what effort I put into an event or time and energy I spend pouring into others, it is never enough. 

Sometimes the darkness and lostness in this place is overwhelming. A common thought I have running through my brain is, “there are thousands of people I pass every day and they are dying inside. They don’t know the joy and freedom a life with Jesus brings. And what I am doing about it?!” Some days I don’t have enough emotional energy to leave my house, some days I can’t get off my knees. Other days, I go on about my tasks choosing not to engage anyone in conversation and turn my face away.

I recently combed through the book “Unscripted: Learning to share your faith in every day conversations.” by Jeff Iorg. While it is an incredible resource to those who work, live, and play around people who do not know about Jesus, I wrestled with it. I wrestled with discerning between shame and conviction. Conviction is from the Holy Spirit and should produce change, but shame paralyzes with fear or feelings of inadequacy. 

But then I realized the truth of this: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” When I am made low, He is lifted up. When it is less about me, it is more about Him. He is my strength when I have none. HE is the one working on each of the students hearts I pass by every day. Their salvation does not solely depend on me. That was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders which produced THANKFULNESS and gratitude. It was as if God was whispering to me,

  Brindley, I would never ask you to do something that would require you to give out of your natural resources. I am more than enough and will give you all you need, Whatever doesn’t fit in your cup, is yours to share with others.  

So, on the days when I feel like I am not enough or the days I feel like I can't do enough, I remember to be thankful. Thankful for the grace that set me FREE. Thankful for a love that fully accepts me, totally forgives my every mistake, and lasts eternally. What are YOU thankful for? It is not just one day a year we are called to be thankful, it is a lifestyle!

"You Say..."

"You Say..." 

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
“Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity,

Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIaT8Jl2zpI

Have you ever felt unequipped or inadequate to accomplish a task that you have been given? Have you ever felt like you are not enough? Have you ever felt mistaken or misunderstood?

Lately, I have felt completely inadequate for the task given to me. Who am I to reach 10,000 first year students on campus? Who am I to even be considered or loved? What am I worth?

This song, “You Say”, has been a part of the new chapter I have stepped into in order to learn to walk in my identity found in Christ. I want to walk everyday in the freedom God gives me through what Jesus did at Calvary.

According to Rick Warren, author and pastor of Saddleback Church, identity is routed in these five basic truths. Because of what Jesus has done on the cross:

1)  I am fully accepted.

2) I am eternally loved. His love is unconditional and unending.

3) I am extremely valuable. Worth is based on what someone is willing to pay. Jesus                considered me valuable enough to pay with his life!

4) I am totally forgiven. That includes past, present, and future mistakes.

5) I am fully capable to do whatever he has called me to do.

These five truths have changed everything for me. I am no longer defined by my mistakes or failures. I am no longer defined by my insecurities that I am afraid of others seeing. I am no longer defined by my performance. I am defined by who God says I am!

I am beloved. I am accepted. I am forgiven. I am fully capable to do everything that He has placed in front of me. Why do I feel unproductive and like a failure if I don’t get things done? God has been so gracious to draw me close and help me catch a glimpse of what He wants to do on this campus. He keeps reminding me: “Brindley, I know your strengths and weaknesses, but I choose to use your weaknesses so that I can receive the glory. If I chose to use your strengths, you would think it was done only in your power.” I am so thankful that He is the one who also says, “I know you have it in you, because I am alive inside of you!”

This has changed everything for me. It has changed the way I format my schedule, the way I look at myself in the mirror, and the way I walk through a crowd of people. I can now walk with my head held high because of who I am as a daughter of the King. 

If you need to remind yourself of your identity, check out this video! 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AolN3_JldmI

The Sandlot Moment

It was Friday afternoon and it was raining. Typical, since the locals dub this city “Rain-couver”. I had a free afternoon and the bike shop happened to be open, so I decided to take the “new-to-me” bike in to get a tune up.

 Since they said it would be done by the end of the day, I decided to go for a walk to the playground down the block. This playground was not like other playgrounds. It had a mini ninja warrior rope climbing thing that looked intriguing. After checking around to notice who was watching, I climbed up and around the whole thing and was surprise at how easy it was, (yes, I workout!). I noticed a little league park next to the playground and saw a young dad playing with his two young kids. They were dancing in the outfield waiting for dad to hit a grounder to them. I smiled and walked the edge of the outfield on the sidewalk back to the main road.

 I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed something in the tree on my right. “Shut up!” Where the words that came out of my mouth as I stood there in shock.

There in the tree, was sitting the most magical sight to any outdoor adventure girl: a tree house! Not just any tree house, it was a hand-built tree house complete with a "roof" and a swing! 

Words don’t even begin to describe the pure joy I had when I climbed up in it and sat there, sheltered from the rain, and glanced through the trees to see the baseball field. I was having a true “Sandlot moment” and it was so beautiful, I cried. Yep. I was that grown woman, sitting in a tree house, in the rain, staring at the baseball field crying.

It was as if my childhood dream came true, (I have ALWAYS wanted a tree house!) and God was letting me go back into childhood bliss when life was easy. You never had to worry about what life was going to throw at you, you lived everyday without anticipating what was going to happen tomorrow. You knew your parents would take care of you and if something were to happen, they would be there to fix it. You lived free! I sat there, thanking God that He gave me freedom to live like a child again. A place where I didn’t have to worry about what turn life was going to take. A place where I was not constantly thinking about the future but locked into the present. I get to live in the moments of each day the Lord brings.

Have you ever experienced living in that freedom? If not, you can today! Don’t settle for less than that freedom that only Jesus can bring. He blesses those with childlike faith. Faith that holds on to the present moment and enjoys the little things, realizing that our Father in Heaven will take care of us.

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:1-4

"This is how Jesus characterized conversion. It pictures faith as the simple, helpless, trusting dependence of those who have no resources of their own. Like children, they have no achievements and no accomplishments to offer or commend themselves with" John MacArthur explains. As our Father, he just wants us!  His love is not conditional, but unending. Step into freedom today! Thank God for the little things!  

(Picture taken from Google images.) 

Lessons From My Syrian Friends

The room was stuffy and warm in the afternoon heat. I had brief conversations with the ladies that were here for the ESL class, hoping to make a few new friends. In an effort to make conversation, I asked her if she could teach me to wrap a Hijab like the one she was wearing. She stood up, took the scarf I offered her, and wrapped it around my head. I turned around to model my “new look” to the other fifteen women around the room. Their reaction shocked me. They applauded with ear-to-ear smiles!

Who knew one thing, like learning something new, could open so many doors? The atmosphere in the room changed after that. I had random ladies coming over to me and pinching my cheeks. One lady came to give me a hug and said, ”So  beautiful!” They accepted me. They welcomed me into their everyday world, all because I wanted to learn something about them and their culture.

An “old friend” whom I have known for less than 24 hours, asked his wife why I was wearing a Hijab. He asked her if I was Muslim. She replied, “No, she is a Christian!” With a confused look on his face, he reasoned with her. “But last night when she and her friends came to our house to pray for us, I noticed she prayed with her hands held out, palms up. And today she is wearing a Hijab!” I explained that yes, I do pray with my hands out as if to be expecting something. I told him, “I have a relationship with God and I know He hears my prayers. When I pray, I pray with confidence that God will answer my prayers. Therefore, I hold me hand out expecting God to act. As for the Hijab, I learned something from my friends today.” He thought long and hard about my answer as I continued to answer the other questions his wife was asking. Thankfully, our conversation became more of two-friends-being-real-and-honest-with-each-other, rather than a simple polite conversation. I was even able to share The Story for which I give all my hope to! God was really working on the hearts of my friends from Iraq and Syria while they were seeking shelter in Greece. 

There is so much to learn about how to “do ministry” in such a diverse cultural setting. But a week in Greece taught me a few things:

1.       You don’t have to speak the same language to communicate. Did you know that 93% of communication is non-verbal (without using words)?[1] I don’t speak Arabic and many of my new friends are learning English, which means they have about a 20-word English vocabulary. Yet, somehow, we managed to communicate!

2.       “Servant leadership” is the best approach to any ministry, especially cross-culturally. Sometimes we think we come to offer them help or relief, when in reality, we should come just to learn and listen to them. What can we possibly know that they don’t already know? Jesus was a fitting example of this.

3.       When people have been through traumatic experiences, they best thing to do is to love them. This love can be shown in a variety of different ways, maybe its listening to them process their experience audibly, giving them a comforting hug, praying with them and for them. Or, maybe they just need someone to cry with them.

Side Story – The couple I mention previously have been through “hell and back” as she describes it. I can only imagine how awful it is to be going about your daily life and then suddenly you are running from bombs exploding right in front of you. She suffered injuries so terrible that even the doctor’s said she would never walk again. Miraculously she was able to keep her family together and make it to safety, which is more than what most families could do. She still is processing the grief of losing everything and hasn’t had a chance to verbalize it. There was anger, there were tears, there was apologies, there were words of appreciation for our listening ears. With tears in my eyes, I offered this, “Can I give you a hug? I have no  words to say, except that my heart is breaking with yours.” And it was. We felt closer, I desperately wanted her to ask me for the hope and faith that I have! I desperately wanted to share The Story right there, but it wasn’t the time or place. Now I needed to be there to listen and cry with a friend. That is what made the conversation (mentioned previously in this blog) so impactful! God is working, and she DID ask me to give a reason for the hope that I have! AND got to share that with her husband!

4.       God is working in their lives, even if you think the conversation doesn’t go as planned, or their reaction is hostile, or seems disinterested. A favorite illustration of this is a story told in Mark 4 where Jesus talks about the sower who plants his life, casts the seed, waits for the crop, and gathers the harvest. The more you dig into the story, the more thoughts you gather (puns intended).  I have to remember this when I attempt to make conversations with students on campus. Most are not interested in the topic of God, but a few of them are! Its not because I dont know how to engage others in interesting conversation, but its because God has been working on their hearts. 

These are just the top few things! There is so much more to learn and "glean" from, but thank you for sticking with me through the story! 

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[1] https://ubiquity.acm.org/article.cfm?id=2043156

Coffee Shop Culture...

Have you ever wondered why coffee shops are so popular? Was it Friends that made it socially popular? The hit TV show where a group of friends meet at the coffee shop and attempt to figure out relationships. 

Or, was it Lorelai from Gilmore Girls who couldn’t go more than a few hours without coffee?

There is just something about taking a cup of coffee that costs less than $1 to make, but ends up making millions of dollars (I’m looking at you Starbucks). What is it that attracts people to places such as this? Granted, coffee is a magical bean that turns a person into a much happier and productive machine. 

Whether you are a coffee drinker or not, when someone asks you if you want to “go grab a cup of coffee together” it is an unwritten rule of an invitation to hang out. Coffee become much more of a social thing, than a necessity (for some). I am sure this is also a culture difference, however this is as much of a thing in Texas as it is in Vancouver. I have had plenty of opportunities to try out many different coffee shops in the area of UBC (the University of British Columbia), but here are my top five favorites!

(Brindley’s) Top 5 coffee shop chains in Vancouver: (Not in this order...) 

The Beanery – Thankfully this place is a 2-minute walk from my apartment and the Korean couple that owns it always greet you with a smile and “Good morning/afternoon!” I LOVE this place since it feels so homey with the TV on a sports channel, the furniture, and the coffee stations that look like the buffet cabinet at home! Annnnd the coffee is cheap, so you can fix it the way you like. 

Bean Around the World – Amazing study atmosphere, when you can find a table that is! Lots of natural lighting and plants makes me feel at home. My favorite thing to get there is a vanilla cappuccino!

Starbucks – I have 5 Starbucks shops within a half of a mile radius. The closest one is about a 3-minute walk and the manager’s name is Taylor (which is my “coffee name” because no one can correctly spell or pronounce my first name… AND it takes too long to spell it for them)

Tim Hortons – I learn several things about Timmies. One, their donuts specially the maple donut is DELICIOUS. Two, it is very Canadian to ask for a “Regular Double-Double” which is a cup of regular coffee with two creams and two packets of sugar.

Blenz – Blenz is a 4-minute walk from my place where I go to say hello to one of my favorite Baristas. Ivan, who is from Hong Kong, speaks in his self-taught cockney accent and makes fun of the way I pronounce Canadian words. For example, it took me 3 minutes to order this AMAZING “Naniamo Bar” pictured below.

“It is a bar dessert which requires no baking and is named after the city of Nanaimo, British Columbia on Vancouver Island. It consists of three layers: a wafer and coconut crumb-base, custard flavoured butter icing in the middle and a layer of chocolate ganache on top” according to Wikipedia.

There you have it! All of these double as my "office" where I send emails and update my team with what is happening here! I also get a lot of reading done here. Needless to say, I am so thankful for these places and look forward to exploring more here in Vancouver! 

A Day in the Life of a (New) Campus Minster

Well, it has been eight weeks living in Canada and I am slowly getting used to my new life. Even though I live in an urban city the pace of life is slower than you would imagine. People are always going places, but they stop to smell the coffee. (Unless it is exam week, then the zombie-like students roam from class to class.)

Since I am not a student but live on a university campus, I have had to be creative on how I get to “hang out” with students. For example, I have been given several books to study on “what ministry on a campus looks like” so I have joined students in the library for “homework parties” where they do their homework and I do mine. If students need a caffeine pick-me-up or a snack to keep their stomach from disturbing others around them, I will bring them fruit and granola bars. It is hard to think about your immediate needs when your mind is full of your “To Do” list and deadlines. I know, I have been there! I would have probably starved if God didn’t send people to provide for me! (Shout out to Mama T for the food and the random library guy who brought me coffee!)

You might be asking, “What does a typical week look like for you?” Good question, because I am still trying to figure that out! I will share with you a rough outline of what it typically looks like.

Sundays- I wake up at 8 a.m. and prepare for church. I meet the “set up crew” (they need a better nickname, because they are superheroes, let me tell you!) to unload the van with the sound equipment and instruments. The worship team arrives and sets up the stage and speakers. Meanwhile, the Yoon’s and I set up the breakfast table, Welcome Table, Connection Table, and fold bulletins. We stand at the door and welcome people as they enter, making sure they have pens and connection cards to fill out (they return those to us at the end of service.) Usually I am in charge of announcements in the service, which has taken some getting used to! We worship together and chat with people after church. Every Sunday, we have an average of 90 people with different people each week! Praise the Lord! A few times a month we have a workshop after church that discusses topics like, “How to Study the Bible” or “Time Management Tips”. I usually try to get a few students to go to lunch, but it’s a busy point in the semester.

Mondays- Usually I take this day off until Alpha meets at 5:30 p.m. This semester I had the privilege to join united Alpha night every Monday night from 5:30 to about 7:30 p.m. We share a meal together with our assigned tables and get to know our group. Then we watch the Alpha video and discuss questions about the video or what we got out of it. It is so interesting to hear the different perspectives and experiences we all have!

Tuesdays- This is my day to take time to pray for my Grace Team partners and do some book keeping. I am currently a part of the prayer team from Origin so I meet with two other students to pray over each other and those who fill out connection cards.

Wednesdays- We (Craig, Peter, Michaela and I) meet for staff meeting (unless this happens on Monday). I keep my schedule open to have lunch or coffee with students I meet with that week. In the evenings, I go to the first year residences and run a “Soularium booth” with another student from Origin. This is a fun time to have conversations with students on their views of life, God, and spirituality.   

Thursdays- I meet with students for lunch or coffee, grocery shop for week, attend TNT (Worship night) with UCM (University Christian Ministry, and sometimes fellowship at their community house after.

Fridays- I usually spend the morning catching up on reading and planning for the weekend which varies week to week. I also host a Life Group at my apartment where I provide a meal and a warm place to build relationships with students who live on campus and attend Origin.

Saturdays – This is a unique day where students take some free time to go into town to eat, visit some touristy places, or go see a movie. It’s also a great day for hiking, cooking together or hosting a game night! I think Saturdays were designed to build relationships while having fun with others.

There you have it, just a rough outline of what my life looks like during the week! One thing I have learned is, flexibility is crucial. God is in the details of every day!

It has also been challenging to adjust to a life with no set schedule, policy, or hours. Like, I have to write my own job description! Not only that, but personally I am adjusting to life as an "adult." Do you know how strange it is to live on a university campus and not be a student, teacher, or intern/worker? It's weird. Those are all roles I am very familiar and comfortable with, but figuring out what God wants me to do on a daily basis?! (I know what your thinking, "tough love" right?) All of this transition and change has beckoned me to ask the question, "Who does Jesus say I am?" That question leads me to a better question, "Who do I say Jesus is?"   I am still on the journey to find the answer to both of those questions.

The Blizzard of Entitlement vs. What I Actually Deserve

I woke up this morning to about a foot of snow outside and it was still coming down in huge snowflakes. With the wind blowing it looked more like a blizzard, at least to my Texan eyes! I was on my way to meet someone on campus so I had no choice but to brave the weather and start walking fast. Since I am still new to this huge campus it took me a while to figure out what road I needed to take to get to this ladies house. My GPS said it would only take 15 minutes of walking, but I didn’t factor in the snow OR the fact that campus looks a whole lot different in the snow. Since the wind was blowing hard it was mandatory to walk with your face down to keep the snow out of your eyes. Now you can image, it is relatively easy to get lost when you aren’t looking directly where you are going AND everything is covered in white. Let’s just say I kept begging the Lord to show me which way to go. I made it to the lady’s house about 20 minutes late and had ice stuck in my hair, hat, and coat. We chatted for a few minutes, she gave me the item I came to pick up and I took a deep breath as I walked back outside in to the biggest “Blizzard” I have ever been in.

Reflecting back, I was so upset with myself that I couldn’t find my own way to her house, I was late, and now I was soaking wet. All I wanted to do was just to go home and crawl in bed. One word was brought to mind. Entitlement. It is a disease that kills us from the inside out. It is nasty! I didn’t think I was entitled to much until I remember walking through the snow asking God if he was going to help me or not. Then I began to contemplate other things that I expected God to give me for being obedient to Him. Many times we as people get caught up with what we expect from God and we get angry when it doesn’t go out way. David Marvin from The Porch Dallas put it this way, “it happens when someone is getting involved in serving and falling hard after Jesus then they hit a wall where they become bitter towards God that they are not to where they want to be in their relationship status. They feel entitled to find Mr. Right, or have good health.” We set expectations on social expectations not biblical expectations.

In reality, I deserve hell and eternal separation from God. But not only did God not give me what I deserved, but He gave me His best! I get to live with Him in paradise for an eternity. I don’t know about you but I couldn’t help but weep when I realized what life would be like without Jesus in it. He has been my friend, my companion when I feel like I don’t have any, my peace and comfort when I’m scared, my healer when I’m sick, my GPS when I don’t know where to go. I literally could not breathe without Him.

The words from this song have become the cry of my heart. (low quality video, high quality lyrics) 

Honestly, God broke my heart for the people around me that go through their day just trying to survive until the next day. They have no hope that things will turn out ok, they have no companionship when all their friends are busy on a Saturday night, they have no one to talk to when they are lost. I can’t even fathom what it is like to live in that darkness, can you?

May the Lord break our hearts for what breaks His. Enough for us to have the compassion to speak life into the people around us. 

Everyone Loves Introductions, Don't You?

I made it! I have officially been in Canada longer than I have ever been at one time! It's been an incredible two-almost-three weeks since arriving and there is so much to tell! Miracles have been happening all around me I can barely keep up with all of them. The Lord continues to bless me in the friendships I reconnected with and countless opportunities to make new ones. I'm still getting settled into my new surroundings, but I still feel like I wake up in a new world every day. Literally! Campus is growing so rapidly, it seems a new building opens everyday! Here is a few picture I snapped around campus and a few cool stories behind them! Enjoy!

The public transit system in Vancouver is amazing. They do a really good job at moving thousands of people where they need to be on a pretty consistent schedule! 

 This is my apartment building as you just enter campus :) It's two blocks from the bus loop, a 3 minute walk to Starbucks, McDonald's, and the Dollar Store! 

This is called "Main Mall" which is the main walkway through the heart of campus. (I'll share a map with you later) 

 At the north end of campus you can see this beautiful mountain range beyond the water. 

 This is one of the oldest buildings on campus! Just look at the old clock tower! 

This building has had a lot of movies filmed in it, including Harry Potter apparently. 

 Magnificent isn't it?  

This is the beautiful Forestry building. This is a popular major at UBC as well and I can't tell you how many students I have met that study Forestry.  

 This is Regent College, which is the "seminary of UBC" and it is practically across the street from my apartment!

 This is on the coast of campus called Wreck Beach. Beautiful even on cloudy days!

 This is a neighborhood on the south side of campus that is growing rapidly! Wesbrook is home to many new apartment buildings, community center, a high school, a tea shop, Blenz coffee, Menchie's frozen yogurt, and Save On Foods. I walk the mile to come grocery shopping for things I need and don't have time to go off campus to shop :) 

 The neighborhood is beautiful!

What do my weeks look like? Good question! I am actually still tweaking my schedule and getting used to a new normal, which will take a little bit longer than I thought. There is a season and a time for everything. 

On Mondays all the Christian clubs on campus welcome people to a group called Alpha. We have a meal together and everyone is assigned to a table. After dinner and fellowship, we watch a film about different topics that lots of people ask when they are seeking Truth. Last week we discussed, "What is prayer and how do we pray?" After watching the thought-provoking video, we discuss at our tables our impressions of the video and share personal experiences. This creates a warm and welcome place for people of all faiths to come and ask their questions about Christianity. I have only been there twice and have been amazed at how open people are with each other! There has been over 15 decisions to follow Jesus already this semester! Any many more who are still curious and ask more questions! Praise the Lord! 

Tuesday (or whatever day is best for all of us to meet during the week), is when we have Origin Staff meetings at the Beanery, my favorite coffee shop! 

Last week I also attended all of the "Life Groups" that are lead by members at Origin that discuss about the sermon from the previous Sunday. It was a great way to meet lots of people and have personal conversations with everyone! 

I did have a couple breakthroughs this week. I haven't gotten lost or missed a bus in a week, I actually run into a few people I know while walking through campus (which is SO EXCITING!), I have shared many meals with many random people this week, I have been welcomed into many homes, apartments, and study halls. Seems like every time I meet someone new they say, "Wait, YOU'RE Brindley?!" Which is a very scary thought... I also forget that this has been a three year process of praying and seeking and talking with people here what the Lord has been showing me. So the secret is out! I am here because God sent me and I am just as excited as my coworkers are! :)

Stay tuned for more stories and cool God moments as I walk through this journey with you! 

12 Reasons Why You Know You Are Not in Texas Anymore…

Did you know you can still experience culture shock even when you move to another first-world county? I didn’t. Did you know that you can still experience jet lag with just a two-hour time difference? I didn’t know that either. Did you know Vancouver is very different than Fort Worth, Texas? I am learning this.

I have experienced many things in the past 6 days spent here in Vancouver. Shockingly, I have even experienced differences in the way of life here I never thought I would experience.

So, here are my “12 Reasons Why You Know You Are Not in Texas Anymore.”

1. When the sun comes out in Vancouver, people think they are going to melt away and start shedding layers of clothing. Yes, they call it Raincouver for a reason!
2. People don’t talk while riding the bus. Even if they are awkwardly standing in your personal space.
3. You can only buy as many groceries as you can carry. Unless you have one of those really handy shopping “carts” that your mom used to take with her to garage sales.
4. It takes 10 minutes to throw away your trash. They recycle EVERYTHING. (Btw, your gum goes in the garbage can not the compost. You’re welcome, I just saved you 4 minutes.)
5. Some of the buses smell like substances-that-you-thought-were-illegal-but-now-they-aren’t.
6. It’s not at all uncommon to hear 4 different languages spoken by those in your immediate surroundings.
7. Everything at the supermarket is either organic, vegan, lactose free, gluten free, cage free, GMO free, etc. just not Free.
8. There are Starbucks and/or coffee shops at EVERY corner, even in the same building! Caffeine FOR DAYS.
9. Racism is not a common word here. Canada has been mentioned to be “a beacon of racial equality” by foreigners. In one day I met a lady from London, a man from Israel, a student from China, a couple from Korea, and a guy from Texas! (Quite a unique perspective than in the South).
10. The concept of personal space only extends to the width of your umbrella. When you are on a crowded bus, start pushing or you won’t get in. Also, this makes eye contact very awkward, just pick a spot on the wall or stare at your shoes during your ride. 
11. You always remove your shoes at the door. Since walking is your primary mode of transportation, you don’t want to bring the street into the house with you!
12. Most people will give you directions using the street names, but it doesn’t help when they are mostly numbers! “If you want to go the grocery store, take the 99 to 41^st, then turn left at 43^rd Ave, right on 45^th, and its on the left.”  See what I mean? Better learn fast!

Yes, most of these I learned the hard way. The most distinct moment of culture shock I had this week was Saturday night. Come to think of it, I experienced almost all 12 of these differences. No wonder I was overwhelmed!

Saturday I was blessed to have lunch and afternoon coffee with a neighbor that lives across the street from me. As we were chatting, I realized I did not have any food to eat for dinner. She happened to have dinner with a friend that night in town, so she offered to show me where the grocery store was on the way out of town.

We hopped on the bus and went a few blocks. She pointed out the street I needed to walk down and gave me directions to the store where the prices were a LOT cheaper. I thanked her, stepped of the bus and walked down the street she pointed out. Five blocks later, I walked all the way around the building I thought the store was in, only to find out it was in the basement with the parking garage. I found the basics I needed and stood in the long line to check out. When I went to pay, my Visa was declined, I left my Canadian bank card at home, AND I had no cash. Thankfully, the cashier suspended my order and said there was an ATM close by.

After I breathed a prayer for help, I had to ask several more people where the ATM was and 10 minutes later I was standing upstairs and across the street to get money out. I walk back across the street, in the rain, downstairs, back to the store, stand in another long line just to pay for my groceries. By this point it is almost 8pm, I’m tired, it’s dark, I don’t know where the bus stop is, I’m starving, and I’m dragging my groceries behind me in my shopping cart.

Talk about overwhelmed! All I wanted to do was to stand there and have a pity party, but that was not going to solve anything! I decided to pull up my “Big Girl Pants” and make some Jesus-lead decisions. First, I needed something to eat so my stomach would quit growling. Thankfully, there was an A&W at the corner (thank you, Lord)! After I finished my burger, I looked up where my bus stop was, and I walked over to where I thought it was. By the grace of God, the bus came after 3 minutes of standing in the rain. 😊

When I walked through the door at my apartment, I have never been so thankfully to see familiar places!

I told this to a couple students who asked how my first week has been and they said, “what a testimony!” I smiled because I knew they were right! God continues to provide what I need to get me back home.