There is Another in the Fire with You

I live in a place where I literally bump shoulders with thousands of people every day, yet still feel completely alone. Loneliness is a plague and a kill-joy. It makes you wallow in a hole of self-pity that can easily attack your identity if not held in check.

“Why do others hate me?”

“Why do I never get invited to things?” 

“What’s wrong with me?”

The following song has been so powerful in my walk lately. Trails, hardships, pain, stress, “persecution” are all things that are a part of this life on earth because of the Fall. (Yes, THE Fall of mankind from Genesis 3, check it out if you need a refresher.) The consequences of Adam and Eve’s choice sent the world into a downhill spiral. Things have never been the same since. Sometimes life sucks.

You failed an exam.

You didn’t get the job you wanted. The drama in your family is too much to bear.

You lose someone you loved. Sickness threatens to control everything.

You miss out on life events of the people you love because you are far away from home.

You are being used, rather than pursued.

Pain is real (and so is the struggle). What do you do when it threatens to take over your thoughts, emotions, and identity? 

Sometimes it feels like you are thrown into a fire with no hope of getting out. Have you ever experienced this? Well, 3 guys have! The lyrics are based off a story in Daniel, about 3 young men who lived in Babylon after the nation of Israel was taken captive. They were drafted to serve the king of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar (Lord, bless that child’s name). Part of this process was a sort of “brainwashing” where they were educated in the language, literature and rituals of the pagan gods the king served. They even had their names and diet changed to reflect a new “identity”.  Well, these 3 men who loved God denied eating the food the king brought to them (that had also been sacrificed to the gods) and the ritual of bowing down to worship the gods. They stood firm for their faith in the Almighty God and were thrown into a fiery furnace, heated 7 times more than it usually was to insure their fate. It was so hot, that the officials ushering these 3 men into the furnace were scorched! However, after counting how many men were thrown in, the guards were shocked to see four men walking around in the fire, unaffected by the flames surrounding them. By the king’s order, they brought out the men only to find no evidence they had been anywhere near a fire. Their clothes were unharmed, and they didn’t even smell like smoke! (Read the whole story here) There was another in the fire, walking with them. He never left them.

With this story in mind, reflect on this song… 

(or watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMw_9AhsJFs )

"Another In The Fire"

There's a grace when the heart is under fire
Another way when the walls are closing in
And when I look at the space between
Where I used to be and this reckoning
I know I will never be alone

There was another in the fire
Standing next to me
There was another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
Of how I've been set free
There is a cross that bears the burden
Where another died for me

There is another in the fire

All my debt left for dead beneath the waters
I'm no longer a slave to my sin anymore
And should I fall in the space between
What remains of me and this reckoning
Either way I won't bow to the things of this world

And I can see the light in the darkness
As the darkness bows to Him
I can hear the roar in the heavens
As the space between wears thin

I can feel the ground shake beneath us
As the prison walls cave in
Nothing stands between us
Nothing stands between us

And there is no other name
But the name that is Jesus
He who was and still is
And will be through it all
So come what may in the space between
All the things unseen
And this reckoning
I know I will never be alone

The book for Micah mentions the “refiners fire” where he holds the gold in the middle of the fire and lets all the impurities melt away. He doesn’t throw it in the fire and leave it. The gold is too precious! Instead, he holds it until it is finished with the process. How does he know when the impurities are gone? When he can see his reflection in the gold. That’s exactly what God does with us. He hasn’t left us alone in the fire. Instead he holds it through the process. We are all in the process of sanctification – the process of becoming more like Jesus.

James 1:2-5 challenges, “Consider it pure joy [throw a party because God’s up to something!], my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds[make a list of the different things you are going through], because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance [among other things], and let perseverance have its full effect[finish the process], that you may be perfect and complete [like Jesus] lacking in nothing.” [BTV – Brindley Taylor Version]

These are the truths I cling to when trusting God is hard and I feel lonely and forgotten. I have been grateful for a great song to remind me that He is with me through the dark days. He is a trustworthy God!

Joel Houston and Chris Davenport talk about the story behind Another In The Fire by Hillsong UNITED - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xrE-JMAfMY

"Another in The Fire" by Hillsong UNITED 2019

A Fresh Start

 Do you ever feel like life came with a factory reset button? Like if you made a mistake that came with consequences you didn’t see coming, wouldn’t you like to be able to have a redo? Or you have fallen into a mindless cycle that you can’t get out of and need a fresh perspective? Or maybe you just need to refresh the page of your mind, clear it of junk, and start with a blank page?

Lately, have been going non-stop and haven’t taken time to recharge my battery. I have been so busy doing “things” that I haven’t taken time to rest. There have been times of sleep deprivation, neglect of physical health, mental, and spiritual health - because I think I can do it all my own. I haven’t spent time to reflect or process what is happening around me and where God is working.  I have missed those “divine appointments” with random people as I rush from one thing to another. But most of all, I miss spending quality time with Jesus. Only with Him have I been able to experience true rest – not just the absence of work, but shameless peace. I have been really convicted of not taking time to refresh and reset my priorities. I have asked myself: What does it actually mean to rest? I can sit around my house all day and binge on Netflix and still not feel rested. I can sleep for as long as I want still not feel rested…

Any doctor will tell you the importance of physical rest and that our bodies need it to function properly. Anyone who has pulled an all-nighter studying for a paper and had to take an exam the next day will tell you lack of sleep does not help productivity. However, could there be a difference between physical rest and spiritual rest?  The writer of Hebrews thinks so.

Hebrews chapter 4 differentiates between physical rest and redemptive rest:
"The nation of Israel, in the Old Testament, provoked the Lord to anger by disobeying – therefore they were not permitted to enter God’s rest."

In this passage, rest is referred to the Promise Land. God brought this nation out of slavery in Egypt so that they would be free to worship and enjoy Him. However, they started worshiping other things rather than God, turned their hearts away from Him. Of course, this made God angry and he sent them wandering around the desert for 40 years as a result of their decisions. 

According to John MacArthur, “the application of this picture is to an individual’s spiritual rest in the Lord, which has precedent in the Old Testament. At salvation, every believer enters true rest, the realm of spiritual promise, never again laboring to achieve through personal effort a righteousness that pleases God. The Lord wanted both kinds of rest for that generation which was delivered from Egypt.” 

When God created the world and it’s order, He created rest. In Genesis chapter 2 God finished all the work He had done and rested. He blessed the seventh day and made it holy – different than all the others. It’s not as if He needed rest (after all, He SPOKE the world into motion), but modeled the new created order.

There are still times when we need both kinds of rest, not just sleep. Rest was made to be a blessing to man “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” as Jesus reminds his followers when they were accused of doing “work” on a holy day (Mark 2:27). To be holy means to be “set apart” or “different” from the mainstream. The culture of humanity today is driven by work and performance. We are taught at a young age that if you perform well, you will receive worth. During potty training for toddlers, parents give their kids a reward for a job well done. As young kids play sports, now days they receive a reward for “participating” (don’t get me started…). The next 12 years (or more) of academics, students are pressured to perform well so they can receive good grades, so that they can get into the top universities, so that they can perform well at their job, and... you get the picture. What happens when you can’t preform up to those expectations? Life seems hopeless.  

In a world that is driven by work and performance, it is easy to feel inadequate. Often times, I feel like I fall short on my work, therefore I am not valuable to others. There are always more things to do, more people to serve, more people to listen to, and more energy needed to accomplish them all. It is a never ending “rat race”. The world around me likes to throw shame for not keeping up, but that’s ot how it was created. But God reminds me that my worth is not based on my performance. (See my last article “You Say…”)  Praise God that I can rest in the fact that I am accepted, loved, and valuable just for being me based on what Jesus did on the cross. By believing and accepting Jesus’ gift of life to me I can now live in freedom!

Okay, I know there is a difference from physical rest and redemptive rest. But what does that look like practically? Reset the pace of your life and take a day to practice redemptive rest. I am still learning what that looks like... 

Sometimes I just go for a long walk in the cool of the evening or chase the sunset. 

Sometimes I curl up on the couch and read an encouraging book.

·     Sometimes I journal ideas I am processing (a lot of my blog articles come out of journaling!). Sometimes I go explore a new area of the city or a new coffee shop.

·     Sometimes I sleep in and stay in my PJ’s allllllllll day.

·     Everyday I strive to read something in scripture and reflect on it throughout the day.

·     Everyday I thank God for waking me up this morning and for giving me purpose.

·     Everyday I aim to list off things I am thankful for instead of presenting a long list of things I still want.

·     Everyday I ask God to reset my priorities to make Him first in my life and my “work” last. After all, I am first called to Him, then what I do flows out of that!

I am reminded of Romans 12:1-2 which commands “do not conform to the pattern [set by] this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” The Message Bible phrases it this way:

“Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”*

Let God produce a healthy work/rest cycle in your life! Discover and fall in love with Jesus, the more time you spend with Him, the more time you want to give Him.

*Just a note that the Message Bible “is a highly idiomatic translation, using contemporary slang from the US rather than a more neutral International English, and it falls on the extreme dynamic end of the dynamic and formal equivalence spectrum.”

In This Valley of Dry Bones...

It was Friday night when thirty-or-so people gathered in a lecture hall to reflect on all what God did during the 24/7 Prayer Week. On the University of British Columbia campus over 145 students met to pray over their classmates, campus, and city. Many of them met or heard God for the first time. Others were awakened to the needs circulating around them daily. Still, others just came to sit and rest in the presence of God that filled this community house living room. We may never know the impact of this week, but one thing was drawn to my attention.

During the Friday night gathering, one person shared a verse from Ezekiel 37, but for the life of me I do not recall the context. We finished out the night with worship and corporate prayer. The next morning, I was listening to a podcast and there was another reference to Ezekiel 37. Naturally my curiosity was peaked so I decided to place a mental bookmark in Ezekiel so I could read it later. However, as I opened my Bible to the topic passage of the podcast and I randomly landed on Ezekiel. At this comical moment, I verbally agree that God wants me to read it now.

Ezekiel chapter 36 talks about the Lord’s concern for His name, “Therefore to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came…And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name.” God’s preface to what He promises to His people is His purpose: for the sake of His holy name. It is not for the sake of any leader, any organization, any campus club, but for His name alone will He bring revival.

God proceeds to specify his promises stating, “I will cleanse you from your idolatry…I will give you a new heart (of flesh and not of stone) and put my spirit within you… I will be your God, and you will dwell with me” (Ezekiel 36:25-29). I found myself asking God, “are these promises for this campus, just like the house of Israel?” I am still searching for the answer. The chapter ends with this phrase, “Then they will know that I am the Lord.”

But, He doesn’t stop there! Chapter 37 describes the “Valley of dry bones.” God brings Ezekiel to this valley of not just a pile of fresh bones, but a valley full of dry bones. The writer emphasizes the condition of the bones: hopeless, past the point of no return, and very dry. God then asks Ezekiel, “Son of man, can these bones live?” To which Ezekiel full of faith replies, “O Lord, you know.” God challenges Ezekiel to prophecy over them saying, “O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. Thus says the Lord to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you and cover you with skin, and put breath in you and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the Lord.” As soon as God breathed life into them, they rose up to be an “exceedingly great army.” I sat there weeping and full of hope that God could breathe life into an army that brought His name glory.

I began to pray that over the UBC campus. I prayed that God would look at this valley of dry bones, students walking around without hope or purpose in life, and breathe life into them. I prayed that people would know that He is the Lord and that He is the only one that can bring life. I prayed that He would remove their hearts of stone and give them hearts of flesh. I prayed that He would pour out His spirit on them and they would rise up to be a great army in the Kingdom of God. I prayed that we become like Ezekiel believing that God is “more than able to do more than we can ever imagine” according to Ephesians 3:20. We want to see your Kingdom Here, Lord! 

When I Feel Like I Am Not Enough...

When I was in college, I remember my roommates and I started a "Thankful Wall" where we encouraged our friends to "post" something on our wall every time they came over. (It was a pun time!) It served as a great reminder to count our blessings and know that God is faithful and kind. 
(YES, I wrote Blue Bell... I think it was one of the reasons I survived long nights of studying!)

The wall meant a lot to all of us, eventually we ran out of space! They stayed up for the next 4 months and those who saw it for the first time, stood and stared at through tears. When we finally took it down, I put all of the notes in a bag and kept them. They were too precious to throw away!

Confession time: this year I have been too busy to sit still and be thankful for all that God has done in and through me in 2018. (Is it possible to be passively thankful?) Sometimes it is easy to thankful, other times I feel like it's not enough. Like, I am not enough.

I feel like I never do enough. I am not satisfied with my work.

There are over 2,000 students that live across the street from me and I know they are hiding in their rooms drowning in anxiety and depression. I see their zoned out faces as I walk pass them on my way to lunch. I see the hopelessness in their expression and gloom in their eyes. Even the ones who know Jesus and have been walking with them for a long time are buried beneath their tasks. No matter what effort I put into an event or time and energy I spend pouring into others, it is never enough. 

Sometimes the darkness and lostness in this place is overwhelming. A common thought I have running through my brain is, “there are thousands of people I pass every day and they are dying inside. They don’t know the joy and freedom a life with Jesus brings. And what I am doing about it?!” Some days I don’t have enough emotional energy to leave my house, some days I can’t get off my knees. Other days, I go on about my tasks choosing not to engage anyone in conversation and turn my face away.

I recently combed through the book “Unscripted: Learning to share your faith in every day conversations.” by Jeff Iorg. While it is an incredible resource to those who work, live, and play around people who do not know about Jesus, I wrestled with it. I wrestled with discerning between shame and conviction. Conviction is from the Holy Spirit and should produce change, but shame paralyzes with fear or feelings of inadequacy. 

But then I realized the truth of this: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” When I am made low, He is lifted up. When it is less about me, it is more about Him. He is my strength when I have none. HE is the one working on each of the students hearts I pass by every day. Their salvation does not solely depend on me. That was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders which produced THANKFULNESS and gratitude. It was as if God was whispering to me,

  Brindley, I would never ask you to do something that would require you to give out of your natural resources. I am more than enough and will give you all you need, Whatever doesn’t fit in your cup, is yours to share with others.  

So, on the days when I feel like I am not enough or the days I feel like I can't do enough, I remember to be thankful. Thankful for the grace that set me FREE. Thankful for a love that fully accepts me, totally forgives my every mistake, and lasts eternally. What are YOU thankful for? It is not just one day a year we are called to be thankful, it is a lifestyle!

"You Say..."

"You Say..." 

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
“Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity,

Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIaT8Jl2zpI

Have you ever felt unequipped or inadequate to accomplish a task that you have been given? Have you ever felt like you are not enough? Have you ever felt mistaken or misunderstood?

Lately, I have felt completely inadequate for the task given to me. Who am I to reach 10,000 first year students on campus? Who am I to even be considered or loved? What am I worth?

This song, “You Say”, has been a part of the new chapter I have stepped into in order to learn to walk in my identity found in Christ. I want to walk everyday in the freedom God gives me through what Jesus did at Calvary.

According to Rick Warren, author and pastor of Saddleback Church, identity is routed in these five basic truths. Because of what Jesus has done on the cross:

1)  I am fully accepted.

2) I am eternally loved. His love is unconditional and unending.

3) I am extremely valuable. Worth is based on what someone is willing to pay. Jesus                considered me valuable enough to pay with his life!

4) I am totally forgiven. That includes past, present, and future mistakes.

5) I am fully capable to do whatever he has called me to do.

These five truths have changed everything for me. I am no longer defined by my mistakes or failures. I am no longer defined by my insecurities that I am afraid of others seeing. I am no longer defined by my performance. I am defined by who God says I am!

I am beloved. I am accepted. I am forgiven. I am fully capable to do everything that He has placed in front of me. Why do I feel unproductive and like a failure if I don’t get things done? God has been so gracious to draw me close and help me catch a glimpse of what He wants to do on this campus. He keeps reminding me: “Brindley, I know your strengths and weaknesses, but I choose to use your weaknesses so that I can receive the glory. If I chose to use your strengths, you would think it was done only in your power.” I am so thankful that He is the one who also says, “I know you have it in you, because I am alive inside of you!”

This has changed everything for me. It has changed the way I format my schedule, the way I look at myself in the mirror, and the way I walk through a crowd of people. I can now walk with my head held high because of who I am as a daughter of the King. 

If you need to remind yourself of your identity, check out this video! 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AolN3_JldmI

The Sandlot Moment

It was Friday afternoon and it was raining. Typical, since the locals dub this city “Rain-couver”. I had a free afternoon and the bike shop happened to be open, so I decided to take the “new-to-me” bike in to get a tune up.

 Since they said it would be done by the end of the day, I decided to go for a walk to the playground down the block. This playground was not like other playgrounds. It had a mini ninja warrior rope climbing thing that looked intriguing. After checking around to notice who was watching, I climbed up and around the whole thing and was surprise at how easy it was, (yes, I workout!). I noticed a little league park next to the playground and saw a young dad playing with his two young kids. They were dancing in the outfield waiting for dad to hit a grounder to them. I smiled and walked the edge of the outfield on the sidewalk back to the main road.

 I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed something in the tree on my right. “Shut up!” Where the words that came out of my mouth as I stood there in shock.

There in the tree, was sitting the most magical sight to any outdoor adventure girl: a tree house! Not just any tree house, it was a hand-built tree house complete with a "roof" and a swing! 

Words don’t even begin to describe the pure joy I had when I climbed up in it and sat there, sheltered from the rain, and glanced through the trees to see the baseball field. I was having a true “Sandlot moment” and it was so beautiful, I cried. Yep. I was that grown woman, sitting in a tree house, in the rain, staring at the baseball field crying.

It was as if my childhood dream came true, (I have ALWAYS wanted a tree house!) and God was letting me go back into childhood bliss when life was easy. You never had to worry about what life was going to throw at you, you lived everyday without anticipating what was going to happen tomorrow. You knew your parents would take care of you and if something were to happen, they would be there to fix it. You lived free! I sat there, thanking God that He gave me freedom to live like a child again. A place where I didn’t have to worry about what turn life was going to take. A place where I was not constantly thinking about the future but locked into the present. I get to live in the moments of each day the Lord brings.

Have you ever experienced living in that freedom? If not, you can today! Don’t settle for less than that freedom that only Jesus can bring. He blesses those with childlike faith. Faith that holds on to the present moment and enjoys the little things, realizing that our Father in Heaven will take care of us.

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:1-4

"This is how Jesus characterized conversion. It pictures faith as the simple, helpless, trusting dependence of those who have no resources of their own. Like children, they have no achievements and no accomplishments to offer or commend themselves with" John MacArthur explains. As our Father, he just wants us!  His love is not conditional, but unending. Step into freedom today! Thank God for the little things!  

(Picture taken from Google images.) 

Lessons From My Syrian Friends

The room was stuffy and warm in the afternoon heat. I had brief conversations with the ladies that were here for the ESL class, hoping to make a few new friends. In an effort to make conversation, I asked her if she could teach me to wrap a Hijab like the one she was wearing. She stood up, took the scarf I offered her, and wrapped it around my head. I turned around to model my “new look” to the other fifteen women around the room. Their reaction shocked me. They applauded with ear-to-ear smiles!

Who knew one thing, like learning something new, could open so many doors? The atmosphere in the room changed after that. I had random ladies coming over to me and pinching my cheeks. One lady came to give me a hug and said, ”So  beautiful!” They accepted me. They welcomed me into their everyday world, all because I wanted to learn something about them and their culture.

An “old friend” whom I have known for less than 24 hours, asked his wife why I was wearing a Hijab. He asked her if I was Muslim. She replied, “No, she is a Christian!” With a confused look on his face, he reasoned with her. “But last night when she and her friends came to our house to pray for us, I noticed she prayed with her hands held out, palms up. And today she is wearing a Hijab!” I explained that yes, I do pray with my hands out as if to be expecting something. I told him, “I have a relationship with God and I know He hears my prayers. When I pray, I pray with confidence that God will answer my prayers. Therefore, I hold me hand out expecting God to act. As for the Hijab, I learned something from my friends today.” He thought long and hard about my answer as I continued to answer the other questions his wife was asking. Thankfully, our conversation became more of two-friends-being-real-and-honest-with-each-other, rather than a simple polite conversation. I was even able to share The Story for which I give all my hope to! God was really working on the hearts of my friends from Iraq and Syria while they were seeking shelter in Greece. 

There is so much to learn about how to “do ministry” in such a diverse cultural setting. But a week in Greece taught me a few things:

1.       You don’t have to speak the same language to communicate. Did you know that 93% of communication is non-verbal (without using words)?[1] I don’t speak Arabic and many of my new friends are learning English, which means they have about a 20-word English vocabulary. Yet, somehow, we managed to communicate!

2.       “Servant leadership” is the best approach to any ministry, especially cross-culturally. Sometimes we think we come to offer them help or relief, when in reality, we should come just to learn and listen to them. What can we possibly know that they don’t already know? Jesus was a fitting example of this.

3.       When people have been through traumatic experiences, they best thing to do is to love them. This love can be shown in a variety of different ways, maybe its listening to them process their experience audibly, giving them a comforting hug, praying with them and for them. Or, maybe they just need someone to cry with them.

Side Story – The couple I mention previously have been through “hell and back” as she describes it. I can only imagine how awful it is to be going about your daily life and then suddenly you are running from bombs exploding right in front of you. She suffered injuries so terrible that even the doctor’s said she would never walk again. Miraculously she was able to keep her family together and make it to safety, which is more than what most families could do. She still is processing the grief of losing everything and hasn’t had a chance to verbalize it. There was anger, there were tears, there was apologies, there were words of appreciation for our listening ears. With tears in my eyes, I offered this, “Can I give you a hug? I have no  words to say, except that my heart is breaking with yours.” And it was. We felt closer, I desperately wanted her to ask me for the hope and faith that I have! I desperately wanted to share The Story right there, but it wasn’t the time or place. Now I needed to be there to listen and cry with a friend. That is what made the conversation (mentioned previously in this blog) so impactful! God is working, and she DID ask me to give a reason for the hope that I have! AND got to share that with her husband!

4.       God is working in their lives, even if you think the conversation doesn’t go as planned, or their reaction is hostile, or seems disinterested. A favorite illustration of this is a story told in Mark 4 where Jesus talks about the sower who plants his life, casts the seed, waits for the crop, and gathers the harvest. The more you dig into the story, the more thoughts you gather (puns intended).  I have to remember this when I attempt to make conversations with students on campus. Most are not interested in the topic of God, but a few of them are! Its not because I dont know how to engage others in interesting conversation, but its because God has been working on their hearts. 

These are just the top few things! There is so much more to learn and "glean" from, but thank you for sticking with me through the story! 

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[1] https://ubiquity.acm.org/article.cfm?id=2043156